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2013 Incomplete Television Round-up
Everyone else is doing a year end television summary, so why not me? Couple of caveats, though: this is heavily weighted to recent fall shows because, well, they are recent, two, I've undoubtedly left stuff out, especially pre-September stuff, and three, this list does not include anything from Breaking Bad, Sons of Anarchy, The Walking Dead, or Reign are not on this list because I haven't seen any of them yet. I plan eventually to catch up on the first three. Reign SCARES ME. So don't ask. I've also left Orphan Black off the list since I've only seen the pilot and I'm not sure when I'll be able to watch the rest.
Anyway, the summary, behind a cut because it got incredibly long:
The Only Worthwhile Moment on American Idol in 2013: This one. (Also, coincidentally, the only moment I saw because about 50 odd people emailed it to me, along with the words, "GOD I USUALLY HATE THIS SHIT." Which is a pretty good summary of that moment.)
Most unexpected pleasure. Scandal, ABC, though technically the best part of 2013's Scandal viewing came from the first half of Scandal's second season which originally aired in 2012, but which for multiple reasons I didn't actually start watching until this summer when I marathoned the show on Netflix.
And wow. Talk about addictive. Scandal is a show technically about government and power, but one that chooses to show a group of morally deprived people who are utterly, completely, consumed with the idea of power and keeping said power even while doing absolutely nothing with it. To the point where during the second season, one character is finally offered the chance to do something major with a policy – any policy she wants, anything, education, health, environment – and she turns this down, instead choosing to continue the fight for empty power. A rather horrible commentary on our current opinion of government.
But that isn't why the show is watchable. It isn't the characters, either: with the very arguable exceptions of U.S. Attorney David Rosen and Abby, every single person on the show is an absolutely awful, horrible, morally deficient to morally reprehensible person. I mean, just awful.
But.
The plot twists.
The waiting to see if someone is going to shoot Fitz (it has to happen like lots, right?)
The wondering just how low these people can sink.
Greatest Let Down Scandal, ABC third season.
Pulling. Teeth.
I mean, literally pulling teeth.
So not what this show was good at, ABC. So not.
Though I guess the show did kinda answer the "how low will these people sink" question. Right down to the teeth.
Runner-Up, Greatest Let Down, Revenge, ABC. So strong its first season. So completely not strong its second season. So bold in the beginning of this season that the first scenes actually went ahead and announced that the characters would never ever ever mention anything that happened in the second season ever again giving us all hope that the show was back to the first season greatness. So not back.
Most Frustrating Winner, three years in a row: Once Upon a Time, ABC.
This show SHOULD be great. It has the budget. It has the actors. It has the actors really, seriously trying to talk through the crap scripts they keep getting handed each week. It has a wealth of fairy tales, or, well, actually Disney movies to draw from, to work with, to rewrite. It has a strong background mythology.
And. Yet. Every. Single. Season. I find myself wanting to shake the writers for squandering all of this.
Part of the problem is pacing. The show suffers from the same issues Lost did – and not coincidentally has some of the same writers and is on the same network. That is, they clearly have some sort of final ending in mind, only they have no idea how much time they have to get there.
Now, I can sympathize with that – I never know how long a piece is going to turn out when I start writing it on my little computer. But it's one thing for me, working on short stories and a couple of longer projects that are so far unsold and therefore don't really have to be at any particular length at this point. I can have my stories be as long (or, well, right now, short) as they need to be. It's another thing entirely for a television show that needs to fill a specific number of episodes for an unspecified number of years.
But the more aggravating problem, and this deserves a separate post, is the way the show constantly wastes emotional opportunities. For instance. This season, for no particular reason, the show sent long term enemies Regina and Rumple off to have them sit on a dark beach for hours and hours summoning a mermaid and then waiting for the mermaid to reappear. Do they decide to talk things out? Prepare spells? Fight each other? Complain about their mutual hatred for Charming and Snow? Try to kill Tinkerbell? No. They just, well, sit on the beach. THEY ARE BAD GUYS. Do evil stuff, dudes! EVIL!
THE CHARACTERS HAVE THINGS TO DO. Think about it: they are fairy tale characters in the real world, who thanks to a curse have absorbed lots of information about the real world. What if they want to go to Aruba? Try skiing? Research folklore? Oh, sure, the show has the whole "leave Storybrooke, lose your memories," but what if some people want to do that? What if they send the characters who can leave town – Regina, Emma, Rumple, Nealfire, Captain Hook, Michael, John, Henry – out on expeditions?
Then we have the way the show constantly forces the characters to either behave uncharacteristically or do something wildly, incredibly stupid just for the purposes of the plot. For instance, this season, after multiple episodes of SAVE HENRY SAVE HENRY SAVE HENRY they finally save Henry, yay, because, me, bored, only to LEAVE HENRY ALONE without anyone watching over him while KNOWING that an angry, vengeful Pan who can teleport and fly and has a MEAN SHADOW is around WAITING FOR REVENGE. I mean, seriously?
This is beyond the issue of how the main characters casually make decisions for what seems to be a few thousand people without ever consulting everyone. In just one recent low point here was this season's mid-season finale, when everyone said, ok, well, everyone's going back to the Enchanted Forest, without giving anyone a chance to make a run for it over the town line. Sigh. The show even lampshaded this at one point when one of the dwarves pointed out that life was much safer and easier when Snow White isn't around – and yet the dwarf got sucked back anyway.
And now, AMNESIA PLOT, where characters can't remember their journeys in magical lands. If you have read my Tor.com posts you know this is my hands down LEAST FAVORITE PLOT, with the ability to turn me into a SEETHING LITTLE BALL OF SEETHINGNESS. The only thing slowing down my seething here is the knowledge that this plot, like EVERY FREAKING PLOT ON THIS SHOW will last just a few episodes and then be pretty much forgotten. Continuity: not an interest of this show.
Really this deserved a separate post. Oh well. And yes, I'll be watching when the show returns in March, because, Oz. And, also, masochism. But not when the show initially airs, and I won't be rushing to watch, either.
Greatest Meh: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., NBC. It's not bad. It's not good. It's just sorta...there.
Runner-Up Meh: Grimm, NBC. Another show wasting its fairy tale potential, only this time, it's less irritating since the show started out with a lot less potential to begin with. A couple of likeable characters, every once in awhile an interesting Monster of the Week, but mostly, eh.
Most Uneven Show : New Girl, Fox. When New Girl is on, as it was for the second half of its second season, it's on. But New Girl has developed a pattern: weak starts to each season, brilliant second half of each season. The second half of season two, airing at the beginning of the year, had some of the funniest stuff of the year. The first half of season three, not so much. Hopefully the show will find its legs again by January.
Most Improved AND Best New Show Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Fox. Brooklyn Nine-Nine started off with a rather "eh" pilot with few if any laughs. By its Halloween episode, however, it had transformed into a slick, hilarious show. Cop comedy; if you need a laugh, start with its Halloween episode and see how things go for you from there.
Worst New Show Dads, Fox. I think I lasted all of five minutes. Not just not funny, but painfully not funny, and why, why, why, waste the comedic talents of Brenda Song and Giovanni Ribisi on this? I have absolutely no idea how it even got on the air. Arguably the worst new show I've seen in years.
Most Wacky New Show: Sleepy Hollow, Fox. Not even a contest here, really. I don't think this show is actually any good, and it needs to start remember that upstate New York in winter is a COLD COLD COLD place. But full credit for saying, "You know what makes absolutely no sense whatsoever? Yeah! THAT! Let's go do that!" And then going and doing just that.
Though Katrina the Ghost or Maybe Not a Ghost needs to go now, show. Stay with Abby and Jenny.
Best Girl Power Bletchley Circle, ITV/Netflix So far Netflix only has the first season of this up, which is just the first three episodes, but they form a very tight miniseries about puzzles, brains, expectations and murder. Looking forward to the second season.
Speaking of Netflix shows House of Cards, which despite its very uneven pacing delivered some of the most mesmerizing TV of the season. Like Scandal, House of Cards focuses on people so consumed with getting and keeping power that they almost never seem to bother to use it, and sometimes even refrain from using it when they could help people -- but lose their power.
Along with Scandal this gives a fairly harsh view of what the entertainment industry thinks of Washington, DC., at the moment: not much, just a group of power-obsessed people who drink a lot of wine and are more interested in the appearance of power than actual power.
Also obsessed with the appearance of power but in a much more hilarious way: Veep, HBO.
Like Scandal and House of Cards, Veep also features a bunch of unlikeable people running around hunting for power. In this case, the concept works because the Veep has absolutely no power -- something she's reminded of regularly. The show is a comedy -- and it's often hilarious -- but it's also a pretty hard hitting look at sexism and public relations.
This show also makes sure it gets the political details right, unlike, say, House of Cards which managed to go through an entire season without admitting that the U.S. Senate exists. I realize that House of Cards has a bit of an issue here since it's based on a show where all of the power pretty much is centered in one house, but this was one tweak that seriously needed to be made. Anyway, recommended.
Most annoying television death DOWNTON ABBEY (ITV/PBS) WE ARE ALL LOOKING AT YOU. I actually sought out spoilers for the upcoming season (US) and the Christmas special to ENSURE I WOULD NOT ENDURE THIS AGAIN, and, yes, I am aware of THAT PLOT LINE for season four, but I'm not going to discuss it yet since it hasn't aired in the U.S.
Most overall annoying television practice: Continuing to air, in the age of the internet, shows in the United States months before they arrive in the U.K. and vice versa, mostly because of the inevitable result: hordes of people on both sides of the pond screaming at each other on Twitter DON'T SPOIL IT!
Most horrifying moment TIE: The chewing through the wrist moment on Scandal (not a euphemism) and a certain wedding over on HBO, Game of Thrones. Speaking of which....
Best television episode of the year: Game of Thrones, HBO, "The Rains of Castamere." Runner-up: HBO, Game of Thrones, HBO, "Dracarys." If both of them end up on the Hugo short list the second is getting my first vote because, dragons.
Biggest unanswered questions heading into 2014 Are Captain Hook (Once Upon a Time) and Ichabod Crane (Sleepy Hollow) ever going to get a chance to wear even slightly different clothing? And, equally important question – will Ichy's coat survive this season? VIEWERS MUST KNOW.
Best Thing About TV in 2013, part one Orlando Jones has discovered Twitter. And fandom. And #sleepyheads. And #Supernatural. And #Olicity. AND HE REGRETS NOTHING.
Seriously, if you are watching any of the above shows, you need to be following the guy on Twitter.
Best Thing About TV in 2013, part two Sharknado!
Not that I saw it. But I followed it on Twitter all the way up to the moment where my Twitter feed squawked that throwing a bomb into a tornado wouldn't stop a tornado and wasn't very scientific – THIS WHILE WATCHING A MOVIE ABOUT FLYING SHARKS.
Best Thing About TV in 2013, part three The Internet.
2013 has, granted, been a pretty decent year for TV, but I don't think it would have been as enjoyable without the internet commentary and snark.
Favorite TV shows of 2013 Note I said "favorite" not necessarily "great" here:
New Girl, Fox. (second season, last spring, not the fall episodes)
Arrow, CW.
Game of Thrones, HBO
You could have been on this list, Downton Abbey. You could have.
Anyway, the summary, behind a cut because it got incredibly long:
The Only Worthwhile Moment on American Idol in 2013: This one. (Also, coincidentally, the only moment I saw because about 50 odd people emailed it to me, along with the words, "GOD I USUALLY HATE THIS SHIT." Which is a pretty good summary of that moment.)
Most unexpected pleasure. Scandal, ABC, though technically the best part of 2013's Scandal viewing came from the first half of Scandal's second season which originally aired in 2012, but which for multiple reasons I didn't actually start watching until this summer when I marathoned the show on Netflix.
And wow. Talk about addictive. Scandal is a show technically about government and power, but one that chooses to show a group of morally deprived people who are utterly, completely, consumed with the idea of power and keeping said power even while doing absolutely nothing with it. To the point where during the second season, one character is finally offered the chance to do something major with a policy – any policy she wants, anything, education, health, environment – and she turns this down, instead choosing to continue the fight for empty power. A rather horrible commentary on our current opinion of government.
But that isn't why the show is watchable. It isn't the characters, either: with the very arguable exceptions of U.S. Attorney David Rosen and Abby, every single person on the show is an absolutely awful, horrible, morally deficient to morally reprehensible person. I mean, just awful.
But.
The plot twists.
The waiting to see if someone is going to shoot Fitz (it has to happen like lots, right?)
The wondering just how low these people can sink.
Greatest Let Down Scandal, ABC third season.
Pulling. Teeth.
I mean, literally pulling teeth.
So not what this show was good at, ABC. So not.
Though I guess the show did kinda answer the "how low will these people sink" question. Right down to the teeth.
Runner-Up, Greatest Let Down, Revenge, ABC. So strong its first season. So completely not strong its second season. So bold in the beginning of this season that the first scenes actually went ahead and announced that the characters would never ever ever mention anything that happened in the second season ever again giving us all hope that the show was back to the first season greatness. So not back.
Most Frustrating Winner, three years in a row: Once Upon a Time, ABC.
This show SHOULD be great. It has the budget. It has the actors. It has the actors really, seriously trying to talk through the crap scripts they keep getting handed each week. It has a wealth of fairy tales, or, well, actually Disney movies to draw from, to work with, to rewrite. It has a strong background mythology.
And. Yet. Every. Single. Season. I find myself wanting to shake the writers for squandering all of this.
Part of the problem is pacing. The show suffers from the same issues Lost did – and not coincidentally has some of the same writers and is on the same network. That is, they clearly have some sort of final ending in mind, only they have no idea how much time they have to get there.
Now, I can sympathize with that – I never know how long a piece is going to turn out when I start writing it on my little computer. But it's one thing for me, working on short stories and a couple of longer projects that are so far unsold and therefore don't really have to be at any particular length at this point. I can have my stories be as long (or, well, right now, short) as they need to be. It's another thing entirely for a television show that needs to fill a specific number of episodes for an unspecified number of years.
But the more aggravating problem, and this deserves a separate post, is the way the show constantly wastes emotional opportunities. For instance. This season, for no particular reason, the show sent long term enemies Regina and Rumple off to have them sit on a dark beach for hours and hours summoning a mermaid and then waiting for the mermaid to reappear. Do they decide to talk things out? Prepare spells? Fight each other? Complain about their mutual hatred for Charming and Snow? Try to kill Tinkerbell? No. They just, well, sit on the beach. THEY ARE BAD GUYS. Do evil stuff, dudes! EVIL!
THE CHARACTERS HAVE THINGS TO DO. Think about it: they are fairy tale characters in the real world, who thanks to a curse have absorbed lots of information about the real world. What if they want to go to Aruba? Try skiing? Research folklore? Oh, sure, the show has the whole "leave Storybrooke, lose your memories," but what if some people want to do that? What if they send the characters who can leave town – Regina, Emma, Rumple, Nealfire, Captain Hook, Michael, John, Henry – out on expeditions?
Then we have the way the show constantly forces the characters to either behave uncharacteristically or do something wildly, incredibly stupid just for the purposes of the plot. For instance, this season, after multiple episodes of SAVE HENRY SAVE HENRY SAVE HENRY they finally save Henry, yay, because, me, bored, only to LEAVE HENRY ALONE without anyone watching over him while KNOWING that an angry, vengeful Pan who can teleport and fly and has a MEAN SHADOW is around WAITING FOR REVENGE. I mean, seriously?
This is beyond the issue of how the main characters casually make decisions for what seems to be a few thousand people without ever consulting everyone. In just one recent low point here was this season's mid-season finale, when everyone said, ok, well, everyone's going back to the Enchanted Forest, without giving anyone a chance to make a run for it over the town line. Sigh. The show even lampshaded this at one point when one of the dwarves pointed out that life was much safer and easier when Snow White isn't around – and yet the dwarf got sucked back anyway.
And now, AMNESIA PLOT, where characters can't remember their journeys in magical lands. If you have read my Tor.com posts you know this is my hands down LEAST FAVORITE PLOT, with the ability to turn me into a SEETHING LITTLE BALL OF SEETHINGNESS. The only thing slowing down my seething here is the knowledge that this plot, like EVERY FREAKING PLOT ON THIS SHOW will last just a few episodes and then be pretty much forgotten. Continuity: not an interest of this show.
Really this deserved a separate post. Oh well. And yes, I'll be watching when the show returns in March, because, Oz. And, also, masochism. But not when the show initially airs, and I won't be rushing to watch, either.
Greatest Meh: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D., NBC. It's not bad. It's not good. It's just sorta...there.
Runner-Up Meh: Grimm, NBC. Another show wasting its fairy tale potential, only this time, it's less irritating since the show started out with a lot less potential to begin with. A couple of likeable characters, every once in awhile an interesting Monster of the Week, but mostly, eh.
Most Uneven Show : New Girl, Fox. When New Girl is on, as it was for the second half of its second season, it's on. But New Girl has developed a pattern: weak starts to each season, brilliant second half of each season. The second half of season two, airing at the beginning of the year, had some of the funniest stuff of the year. The first half of season three, not so much. Hopefully the show will find its legs again by January.
Most Improved AND Best New Show Brooklyn Nine-Nine, Fox. Brooklyn Nine-Nine started off with a rather "eh" pilot with few if any laughs. By its Halloween episode, however, it had transformed into a slick, hilarious show. Cop comedy; if you need a laugh, start with its Halloween episode and see how things go for you from there.
Worst New Show Dads, Fox. I think I lasted all of five minutes. Not just not funny, but painfully not funny, and why, why, why, waste the comedic talents of Brenda Song and Giovanni Ribisi on this? I have absolutely no idea how it even got on the air. Arguably the worst new show I've seen in years.
Most Wacky New Show: Sleepy Hollow, Fox. Not even a contest here, really. I don't think this show is actually any good, and it needs to start remember that upstate New York in winter is a COLD COLD COLD place. But full credit for saying, "You know what makes absolutely no sense whatsoever? Yeah! THAT! Let's go do that!" And then going and doing just that.
Though Katrina the Ghost or Maybe Not a Ghost needs to go now, show. Stay with Abby and Jenny.
Best Girl Power Bletchley Circle, ITV/Netflix So far Netflix only has the first season of this up, which is just the first three episodes, but they form a very tight miniseries about puzzles, brains, expectations and murder. Looking forward to the second season.
Speaking of Netflix shows House of Cards, which despite its very uneven pacing delivered some of the most mesmerizing TV of the season. Like Scandal, House of Cards focuses on people so consumed with getting and keeping power that they almost never seem to bother to use it, and sometimes even refrain from using it when they could help people -- but lose their power.
Along with Scandal this gives a fairly harsh view of what the entertainment industry thinks of Washington, DC., at the moment: not much, just a group of power-obsessed people who drink a lot of wine and are more interested in the appearance of power than actual power.
Also obsessed with the appearance of power but in a much more hilarious way: Veep, HBO.
Like Scandal and House of Cards, Veep also features a bunch of unlikeable people running around hunting for power. In this case, the concept works because the Veep has absolutely no power -- something she's reminded of regularly. The show is a comedy -- and it's often hilarious -- but it's also a pretty hard hitting look at sexism and public relations.
This show also makes sure it gets the political details right, unlike, say, House of Cards which managed to go through an entire season without admitting that the U.S. Senate exists. I realize that House of Cards has a bit of an issue here since it's based on a show where all of the power pretty much is centered in one house, but this was one tweak that seriously needed to be made. Anyway, recommended.
Most annoying television death DOWNTON ABBEY (ITV/PBS) WE ARE ALL LOOKING AT YOU. I actually sought out spoilers for the upcoming season (US) and the Christmas special to ENSURE I WOULD NOT ENDURE THIS AGAIN, and, yes, I am aware of THAT PLOT LINE for season four, but I'm not going to discuss it yet since it hasn't aired in the U.S.
Most overall annoying television practice: Continuing to air, in the age of the internet, shows in the United States months before they arrive in the U.K. and vice versa, mostly because of the inevitable result: hordes of people on both sides of the pond screaming at each other on Twitter DON'T SPOIL IT!
Most horrifying moment TIE: The chewing through the wrist moment on Scandal (not a euphemism) and a certain wedding over on HBO, Game of Thrones. Speaking of which....
Best television episode of the year: Game of Thrones, HBO, "The Rains of Castamere." Runner-up: HBO, Game of Thrones, HBO, "Dracarys." If both of them end up on the Hugo short list the second is getting my first vote because, dragons.
Biggest unanswered questions heading into 2014 Are Captain Hook (Once Upon a Time) and Ichabod Crane (Sleepy Hollow) ever going to get a chance to wear even slightly different clothing? And, equally important question – will Ichy's coat survive this season? VIEWERS MUST KNOW.
Best Thing About TV in 2013, part one Orlando Jones has discovered Twitter. And fandom. And #sleepyheads. And #Supernatural. And #Olicity. AND HE REGRETS NOTHING.
Seriously, if you are watching any of the above shows, you need to be following the guy on Twitter.
Best Thing About TV in 2013, part two Sharknado!
Not that I saw it. But I followed it on Twitter all the way up to the moment where my Twitter feed squawked that throwing a bomb into a tornado wouldn't stop a tornado and wasn't very scientific – THIS WHILE WATCHING A MOVIE ABOUT FLYING SHARKS.
Best Thing About TV in 2013, part three The Internet.
2013 has, granted, been a pretty decent year for TV, but I don't think it would have been as enjoyable without the internet commentary and snark.
Favorite TV shows of 2013 Note I said "favorite" not necessarily "great" here:
New Girl, Fox. (second season, last spring, not the fall episodes)
Arrow, CW.
Game of Thrones, HBO
You could have been on this list, Downton Abbey. You could have.