Lost, the End, commentary part two
May. 24th, 2010 01:19 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
marinessSo, now that the Important Stuff is settled, what have we learned from this show?
1. The way to heaven is through a church. Er.
2. Dead people can perform remarkably successful surgeries.
3. When you have a remarkably successful spinal surgery, your first task should be to head off to a church and abandon your kindly girlfriend who was kinda hoping to get married soon and then just kinda leave her as you wander off to heaven. (If Helen was in the church, and I just missed her, we can delete this one.)
4. Michael and Mr. Eko didn't get to go to Heaven. Perhaps we are meant to think that heaven, or more likely ABC, is not overly fond of black people. (Yes, Rose was there, but she was never main character.)
5. For that matter, the dog didn't get to go to heaven either, now that I think about it. So, we have learned that not all dogs go to heaven after all. Poor dog.
6. The worst thing about a plane crash turns out not to be the actual crash, but the fact that you will be STUCK WITH THESE PEOPLE FOR ETERNITY.
7. If Lost writers tell you they are not actually writing about purgatory, they will later insert lots of purgatory later.
8. Sayid is so depressed about himself that he has to continue to torture and kill people even in the alternate universe in his mind.
9. Despite the respective deaths of both of their prospective spouses, Kate and Sawyer never did hook up after getting off the island.
10. A show about daddy issues will necessarily end with everyone ABANDONING THEIR CHILDREN, and I'm looking mostly at you, Jack and Juliet. (Claire and Charlie at least did seem to bring along
11. Gay couples don't go to heaven. At least on Lost.
12. You can spend several lifetimes beating people up in your powerful, unstoppable Smoke Monster form and then get knocked off by a cliff. Life sucks.
13. If you're an evil psychopath turned history teacher, you can choose not to go to heaven.
14. Kate is only innocent in a FANTASY UNIVERSE SHE'S HELPED CREATE IN HER HEAD! I KNEW IT!
15. So, this was just a meeting place for all of them? And no matter what else happened in their lives – and I have to think that Sawyer and Kate would have ended up together after escaping on the Ajira plane – the most fundamental relationships all of them made were on the plane? I can see that with Boone, Shannon, Sayid, Charlie and Libby who all died there. But I have to think that Sawyer, Kate, and Desmond (just to name the ones in the church who survived the island) would have formed some other relationships in the rest of their lives.
And if they aren't out in the sideways universe, how are they going to suck Ana-Lucia back into heaven, or does she not get to go? Sniffle.
Wait. Those aren't lessons. Let us move on to the snarky notes I took during the show!
1. The way to heaven is through a church. Er.
2. Dead people can perform remarkably successful surgeries.
3. When you have a remarkably successful spinal surgery, your first task should be to head off to a church and abandon your kindly girlfriend who was kinda hoping to get married soon and then just kinda leave her as you wander off to heaven. (If Helen was in the church, and I just missed her, we can delete this one.)
4. Michael and Mr. Eko didn't get to go to Heaven. Perhaps we are meant to think that heaven, or more likely ABC, is not overly fond of black people. (Yes, Rose was there, but she was never main character.)
5. For that matter, the dog didn't get to go to heaven either, now that I think about it. So, we have learned that not all dogs go to heaven after all. Poor dog.
6. The worst thing about a plane crash turns out not to be the actual crash, but the fact that you will be STUCK WITH THESE PEOPLE FOR ETERNITY.
7. If Lost writers tell you they are not actually writing about purgatory, they will later insert lots of purgatory later.
8. Sayid is so depressed about himself that he has to continue to torture and kill people even in the alternate universe in his mind.
9. Despite the respective deaths of both of their prospective spouses, Kate and Sawyer never did hook up after getting off the island.
10. A show about daddy issues will necessarily end with everyone ABANDONING THEIR CHILDREN, and I'm looking mostly at you, Jack and Juliet. (Claire and Charlie at least did seem to bring along
11. Gay couples don't go to heaven. At least on Lost.
12. You can spend several lifetimes beating people up in your powerful, unstoppable Smoke Monster form and then get knocked off by a cliff. Life sucks.
13. If you're an evil psychopath turned history teacher, you can choose not to go to heaven.
14. Kate is only innocent in a FANTASY UNIVERSE SHE'S HELPED CREATE IN HER HEAD! I KNEW IT!
15. So, this was just a meeting place for all of them? And no matter what else happened in their lives – and I have to think that Sawyer and Kate would have ended up together after escaping on the Ajira plane – the most fundamental relationships all of them made were on the plane? I can see that with Boone, Shannon, Sayid, Charlie and Libby who all died there. But I have to think that Sawyer, Kate, and Desmond (just to name the ones in the church who survived the island) would have formed some other relationships in the rest of their lives.
And if they aren't out in the sideways universe, how are they going to suck Ana-Lucia back into heaven, or does she not get to go? Sniffle.
Wait. Those aren't lessons. Let us move on to the snarky notes I took during the show!