mariness

Oh, this movie was so gloriously, gloriously, terrible.

But before I get into the snark, first, a disclaimer: about midway through the movie, the theatre, for whatever reason, decided to turn on the heat, making me a bit dizzy and forcing me to pause and pull off my sweater, causing me to miss some of the Star Trek moments.

Second, three warnings: one, as reader thette has correctly noted, those of you with an interest in accuracy in your historical costuming should probably avoid this film, however spectacular the hats. Two, those of you with no interest in accuracy in your historical costuming may well find yourself distracted by the hats. And three, seeing this movie while accompanied by a chemist may well result in an upset or distracted chemist who will point out the various places where the film got the physics wrong. This includes some stuff with the hats.

Third, portions of this film were actually – hold your shock – almost ok, particularly the bits focusing on the Three Musketeers who are all fairly decent in their roles, although the actor playing D'Artagnan should never be allowed near a period piece or, for that matter, a camera again.

The rest, however, demands snark. A lot of snark.

( So here we go! Spoilery, even if you've read the book, because, let's face it, it's not much like the book. )

Do you know how you can tell that The Mummy, with Brendan Fraser, is a terrible movie?

We were fifteen minutes into it before we realized that we were actually watching its sequel, The Mummy Returns.

(Which is also a terrible movie, but we took it out and watched The Mummy instead on the basis that at least The Mummy does not have an overly cute kid, whatever its other multiple defects.)

It is, I admit, entirely possible that we might have noticed this sooner had we not had various complaints about the armour, the set direction, the portrayal of Egyptian religion, and the horrific CGI. Or perhaps not.